I swear, Facebook is the root of all evil. I think about things way too much because of crap that is posted there. Tonight my near life long best friend posted a recipe for a gluten free brownie with cheesecake topping. It looked like something I'd try. I'm not into the gluten thing but if it's nummy, I'd still eat it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a glutinous pig by any means. I try to eat healthy, going as far as growing my own garden full of non-GMO foods and raising chickens for eggs and meat. This year we're adding in turkeys at least and possibly some pigs. Eventually I'd love to add in cows. I make almost all of my own breads, including hamburger / hot dog buns, bagels, english muffins, doughnuts, etc. I bake all of my own cakes and brownies and cookies from scratch. Nothing in this house comes from a box or pre-made and frozen.
Anyway, a 'friend' of hers, who's name is 'Working Out' (OMG dude, seriously?? *gag*) and who's profile photo is of a male torso posted that he was unhappy that she posted it because it looked good. Good grief. I told her to go make the damn brownies and enjoy them. People need to stop being so ridiculous about food and learn how to eat in moderation. Well, his answer was that I probably wasn't going into the male stripper business (um, don't you have to have a penis for that? *scratches head*) and that you either 'eat tasty or look tasty' and he was choosing looking tasty.
OMG. Ok, first of all, I can honestly say this is someone I would never, ever, ever, ever consider being friends with. Ever. Don't get me wrong. I'm all about being healthy. I think a healthy diet and working out are both good things. IN MODERATION. I also think that if you're putting all your eggs in the 'I'm hot' basket, you're going to wind up doing no more than collecting a bunch of rotten eggs in your life. And I have nothing about exotic dancers / strippers of either sex. It doesn't affect my life so I don't care. We should all do what makes us happy.
But this guy reminds me of the girl that works at our local WalMart. You can tell in her day she was positively adorable. Cute little fake boobs (no, trust me, totally fake and no way to deny it), slender, pretty bottle blond hair and obviously has had some facial reconstruction. Probably in her 50s and for her age she still looks cute enough. But again, she's in her 50s and working in WalMart. Why?
Because she wasn't the trophy wife her husband needed for his career. See, people like that marry someone that they think others will envy. Then they take them to a doctor and have them all cut up and put back together in what they feel is the 'perfect' person to further add to another's jealousy. The problem is, the relationship is based on one person's need for others to be jealous of beauty and all beauty fades. Since she banked all she had on him supporting her and never did a think with her BRAIN, once her youth ran her course, she was traded in like a 1973 Dodge. Hubby needed one of those new Camaros.
It left her with two options. She can either trade down and find herself a well off 80 year old man who will take care of her for the little time he has left or she can go it alone. But again, no career, probably no real friends because they were all just like Working Out and concerned about looks, she wound up as a cashier at WalMart. And there's nothing wrong with being a cashier at WalMart. I worked at a KMart while my kids were little. But it's a far cry from that life she used to live when she was younger. And it's what's facing Working Out, and I fear my long time best friend, and that makes me very sad.
I've found in my few years of life that we all get older. As we get older, even if we work out and eat well, our bodies will show that age. It can't be prevented unless you pay a butcher to hack up your body, sucking out fat and pumping in potentially dangerous materials. And even then, time will still take it's toll and you'll be right back under the knife.
I've also found that when you live your life in a way you think is good and you're good and kind to others, you'll find a good class of people to share your life with. Friends, significant others, even your children. The beauty of people like that is they don't care what number is on the tag on the back of your jeans. They don't care if you live in a mansion. Doesn't matter what you drive. I'm not saying don't get a job or don't pay your bills or don't eat right and try to be healthy. I'm saying all things in moderation. I'm saying we need to be focusing more on making REAL connections with the people in our lives, not connections based on looks.
I am always puzzled by those that are more concerned about looks though. And don't get me wrong; I strongly support every person living their life in the way that makes them happy as long as it's not hurting anyone else. But if you live simply for vanity, what do you think will happen when age does start to show? Where will the 'friends' and spouses be? Don't they worry that they'll be traded in by the current spouse so they can upgrade to a 'newer model'? Or does it not cross their mind maybe? Can you just truly make yourself believe that you will be the only person on the planet that's capable of fighting off the aging process?
I guess I just prefer a less stressful life. I don't have to worry about aging because I know I wasn't made a wife because I was little and cute. I married my best friend who knew the real me. I gain weight, I lose weight, it's always changing. I don't think I ever get over weight to the point I'm gross. Sadly, I have been under weight to the point it was pretty gross though. That was solved when I left the ugly appearance based relationship I was in and started dating my now husband.
It's made life better. I'm not saying there aren't struggles. I'm saying I no longer have nightmares about weighing 500 pounds because I had a cookie after dinner. I'm saying I no longer feel that if I'm not working out an hour or two a day that I'll be confused with a whale and be rolled back into the ocean. I'm saying that no matter what happens, I'll always have my real, true friends and my husband by my side, cheering me on and supporting every aspect of my life. I don't worry that I'll wind up in a car accident that leaves me deformed in a way that leads to a divorce because my spouse doesn't want to be seen with me. There's a lot of peace of mind that comes with not being vain. And it makes me very sad for those who live their life around it.
I hope my friend, and even the unknown Mr Working Out, both figure that out before they wind up 50 years old and working as a cashier at WalMart.
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